keloids

I think I’m prone to emotional keloids. I had a friend who suffered horrible burns all over his body
and because he was prone to developing a painful, particularly awful and restricting type of scar tissue, he had keloids all over his arms and neck–huge, upraised scars that hurt and restricted his muscle movement.

Seriously, I must have the EXACT SAME condition in relation to my emotions. I know I have scars from hurtful people, decisions, relationships and circumstances….but scars aren’t supposed to hurt!! And they’re not supposed to restrict further growth….It’s a funny thing: every time I think I’m doing SO WELL in one area, it seems that there’s another scar just waiting to give me that agonizing, not-so-little twinge that can only come from guilt-ridden regret.

Yet in all of this, what is truly amazing, is that I can still experience beautiful, life-altering joy. How can this be? I think God knew that we’d have incredible sadness here on earth–that’s why he’s given us such amazing “Ambiguity tolerance”–the ability to live with absurdly divergent circumstances and fully experience the nuances of each one.

weird yet wonderful.

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