Always a struggle for a people-pleaser like yours truly is the concept of personal desires, wants, integrity, etc., vs. worrying re: disappointing people and doing what others want me to do.
Thankfully, several wonderful people in my life have had and continue to have a positive influence on my mental battle with this. Recently, work has been insane…crazy expectations, etc….and we just got a new person transferring in who I’ve known for over a year. This person, we’ll call her Ophelia, is an amazing Salesperson….and I just found out how. And I’ve decided that I can definitely learn from this person, but I don’t want to be #1 if it involves doing everything she did. I realized that when the top people are cheating and doing very questionable things to be #1, it’s pretty silly to stress out about ethically beating them. I just need to do my personal best (which, granted, can definitely be improved) and take pride in doing that. My competitive side HATES that….and there’s still a part of me that says “C’mon, God, help me figure out a way to beat them to show that good can still prevail”. The reality is, though, my day-to-day interactions with individuals are what truly show either goodness or indifference, or apathy, or compassion.
And so I’m excited to return, rejuvenated, to improve and hone my skills….and to take pride in taking care of people and making sure they get what they need.