Much to my delight, River finally fits into the gorgeous, vintage pieces that my mom and I thrifted for her on our many fun shopping outings while I was pregnant.
Although I used to describe my desired style for her clothes as “ridiculously girly” meaning “over-the-top-frilly-and decorated,” like this: I’ve noticed that now that she’s actually *here,* and as I’ve gotten to know her, I’ve somewhat toned down her style of clothes.
I love the understated femininity of the vintage pieces–muted pinks, bits of soft lace, pastel embroidery done by hand, the silky texture that old cotton, washed to the point of transparency, takes on…They all highlight her glowing, bursting-at-the-seams vitality and curiosity.
Putting tons of accessories on her at this point feels like dipping a perfect, pink rose in gold….Sure, gold is gorgeous and pink roses are gorgeous, but combining them does nothing to actually make either more beautiful. Letting them shine on their own does a lot more to highlight their good qualities.
Maybe this is what unconditional love is teaching me: When I look at River, I see spectacular, jaw-dropping, gorgeous-sunrise-and perfect-pink-rose-loveliness…her courageous soul and assertiveness, her desire to learn, her capacity for love, her zest for life, her complete honesty and abandon and vulnerability…they’re already so evident in her eyes, gestures, and vocalizations. I can’t imagine a more beautiful version of 8-months-and-10-days-old-Riverbug. And the dimpled knees don’t hurt either. :)
I hope I can look at more people like this–see through the outward clutter to their capacities for good and to what makes them beautiful. (It seems so much harder with baggage-laden, warts-and-all-grownups, doesn’t it?)
I hope that I can clear away my own outward clutter, approaching life with complete vulnerability and honesty in my imperfect-but-hopefully-growing-better state.
It’s not like these realizations are anything new…”the truth will set you free,” “perfect love casts out fear…” These truths just take on new meaning in this phase of life. :)